Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
