this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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