i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
