Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
