Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
