wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You are the jesus of drinking
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
