Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
