I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
