If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
