Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
