I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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