and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
