No awkward lesbian experiences without me
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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