I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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