"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
