we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
