Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
