her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
