i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
