Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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