He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
