remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
