oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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