An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
