Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
