Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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