i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
