I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
