Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
