I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
