on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Less talking, more tequila
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
