One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
