..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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