Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
