please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm too high and old for this...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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