would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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