Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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