But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
