But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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