I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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