Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
