I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
