What did we do last night that was yellow?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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