He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
