Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
