the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
