they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
