ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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