I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
