Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Damn victory sex feels great
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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