Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
