I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
