He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
